Regretful Film Reviews

I have come to the conclusion, after watching this movie, that Indians living in diaspora are basically Persian Jews with bare midriffs (bared only on formal occasions, mind you). The almost excessive politeness they practice with guests, the emphasis on family honour, the picture of the bearded Baba on the wall, the equation of "learning to cook like mother" with "coming of age", and the religious devotion can only be found in... well, almost any Sephardic clan, but especially Iranian Jews. But I suppose you could find parallels elsewhere.

It almost happens in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, for example. The religious identity is a bit toned down in that one, because Greeks are more from the West than from the East, and they are Christians, after all. But if you saw the scene of John Corbett being baptised, you'll remember that that movie went for ethnic-wierdness laughs with the religious angle, too.

And as long as we're making the comparison... It is perhaps inevitable that films like Bend it like Beckham and MBFGW will boil down to one or two basic plots:

1. An family with a high-level ethnic identity, but in exile from that country, faces the challenges of Dominant Anglo culture.


2. One of their children (usually the daughter) will want to marry someone from outside that culture.


3. Clashes occur and hilarity ensues, and parental authority is weighted against their offspring's independence, but in the end, everyone learns a valuable life lesson.

That can only be funny and original so many times. After a while, ethnicities in the English-language film industry are going to have to start coming up with some other issues. (oops, I forgot to turn on the <irony> tag. Obviously they do have other issues. Obviously someone is ready to write a novel script about them. It just remains for us to see the finished product.)

I used to pick up a monthly magazine marketed to the Indian-American population in Atlanta, which was distributed for free in organic grocery stores such as Earth Fare and Whole Foods. It was written in English, ostensibly. I could barely read it. Not that the writing was bad; it seemed to be great for those who knew about these cultural subjects already.

But that is probably what it is like for a standard goy to pick up a copy of the Jewish Times. Or better yet, a parshah sheet full of dialectal yeshivish, but trying to explain a story known to everyone, like the story of Noah and the ark. You feel like Lisa Simpson looking at the marquee for a Yahoo Serious Festival: "I know those words, but that sign makes no sense."

The fact is that I like Indians, and believe they have a lot of interesting facets to their culture that the Western world could possibly benefit from if they apprehended it. Unfortunately, encounters with them in diaspora are usually limited to seeing them in the [excrement] jobs they are working in while pursuing the American Dream (or its British equivalent, perhaps).

One more personal anecdote. In my last year of university I was a graduate resident assistant in a dormitory. My job was part of a programme that encouraged students of French or Spanish to speak those languages exclusively: a French house and a Spanish house, in other words (it's still going strong, aparently; see the official site here). But we "immersion" students were on one floor, and on the floors above and below us were normal U.Ga. students, who were not part of the language experiment bubble. Two of the residents in the floor above me were of Indian origin and were somewhat religious, and they became my best friends outside of the language community. One of them, a contagiously happy girl named Aperna, casually explained to me that she did not intend to date until her Baba chose a husband for her. She was a miracle baby, and had been born against all medical expectations, until her parents went to see a Baba, who told them that they would indeed have a daughter, and that they would name her Aperna. So she trusted him with the big decisions. Like I said: Jews.

Their religious convictions appeared to be monotheistic and seemed, strangely, neither to contradict Christianity or Judaism. I do not know if this is part of a syncretic truth dating back to the yeshivah of Shem and Ever (inside reference there; don't fret if you don't get it), or if it is just their way of assimilating into monotheistic society. Supposedly India is the last holdout for polytheism, which is why Israeli soldiers head directly there for a spiritual experience, after they finish their tour of duty. But best of all, these Indian Americans I knew did not pursue converts, and saw their religion mostly as a family tradition that they, and not outsiders, were obligated to. I can deal much better with that, than with a religion that puts up a front of tolerance, but is secretly waiting for the chance to invite you to a "really cool" Bible study or to ask you to read a leaflet.

Back to the movie. My re-subscription to a DSL connexion got me one free movie on the ISP's online-low-res-video selection (complete with Hebrew subtitles). Madame N M^lle N and I had already seen Whale Rider (2002), and had enjoyed its subtle bizarreness enough to try this comedy, which had somehow been compared to WR one in reviews. So we used the freebie on this one, expecting something like a fun treatment of Indian exiles' issues in British society, mixed with a young girl's confrontation with tradition. That's what it looks like, right?

There were several directions this 112-minute movie could possibly go. If you haven't seen it yet, try to predict some plots with me:

• The daughter of an orthodox Sikh family rebels against her parents' traditionalism by running off to Germany with a football team. (So says the description on IMDB.)
  
• A British girl, who happens to be of an ethnic minority, is really good playing football, and can only compete against guys until a bona fide girls team becomes available.
  
• A Sikh family tries to marry off their daughter to another Indian family of higher economic status. There are some obstacels, but in the end, it's a great wedding.
  
• A comedy of errors causes a religious family to become ashamed, and the engagement of their daughter broken, when one of their children is mistaken for being too loose with the guys.
  
• A white British girl is a good football player, pleasing her father, but causing her highly sexuality-minded mother to despair at the thought that she is not attracting enough boys and is, in all probability, a lesbian.
  
• An Irishman faces prejudice in England, so he can relate to Indians.
  
• A teenage athlete has to face the embarrassment of wearing shorts because she has a large scar on her leg, but is comforted by the fact that her coach also has a scar on his leg.
  
• A coach has big regrets about his relationship with his father, who expected him to be a great athlete rather than a coach.
  
• Several British teenagers idolise David Beckham, to the point that one builds a shrine to him on her wall and speaks to him like a baba. But one of them loves Beckham a little bit too much.
  
• The teenage daughter of a Sikh family is not yet ready for dating, but thinks she had better force herself to get an Indian boyfriend in order to keep her parents happy.
  
• The ethnic father of an aspiring athlete has to face his own difficult past, since he was the object of prejudice in his own athletic aspirations as a young man.
  
• Two female athletes, who are otherwise friends, compete for the romantic attentions of their male coach, and their friendship is endangered.
  
• A British teenager from a close-knit family wants to go to college in the U.S.
  
• A boy from a traditionally religious family and community is gay, and must hide it.
  
• An engaged couple from religious families are actually in love and make out regularly in a parked car away from both families, but their families know about it after all.
  

I'm sure I could think of a few more plots; the fact is that they were all there in that one movie. The result was that a few characters were developed while the supporting actors were left in the dust (check out the personalities on the girls soccer team, for instance), and that the struggles and issues at hand were, well, cliché. I know what Gurinder Chadha was trying to do; she was trying to wrap up all these teenage-ethnic-love-sports-gender issues into one curry-spiced burrito, preparing ethnic problems for Western tastes. To this end, there are some genuinely funny scenes, and some nice scenes of Indian celebrations and traditional behaviour. But the major mistake that Chadha made was not believing in the richness of that ethnic identity to carry the film. Instead, she had to throw in the whole pile of coming-of-age-comedy-drama stuff from the war reels.

E.g.:

• Girls go shopping! (with a horrible soundtrack -- loud and sucky retro-pop that mars an otherwise cool collection of snippets of Indian pop)
  
  
• The ugly duckling dresses up in her friends clothes and turns out to be drop-dead gorgeous, attracting the prince to kiss her!
  
  
• The angry father goes down to stop his daughter from an activity that he disapproves of, but instead ends up enjoying it!
  
  
• And a celebrity cameo! (but seen from afar, making me think this part was filmed like Chubby Rain in Bowfinger).

And the list goes on. All this story lacks is a scene with Slow Clap and a good moralising speech by a former celebrity, and we would have another teen movie.

Look, some of it works. There is an effort to do something original here. Some of the characters are genuinely interesting, and we would like to see more of them and their feelings. The ugly-duckling thing works; but there was no point in it. We like Jess and we see her attractiveness just from her personality; we don't need to see her turned into a sex object. (Or for that matter, we don't need to see that done to her friend Jules, as is done in a gut-wrenching disco scene. Considering the prudisheness practiced in the girls locker room changing scene, I was shocked at Jules' overt mating dance at this point.)

But the overabundance of subplots does not lend to complexity or character development. It just demonstrates lack of confidence in the core story. And it's confusing; just when you thought one real issue was about to be dealt with, along comes another plot twist from another movie. Chadha needs to focus from now on. And audiences need to learn not to clap their hands just because a few good scenes are thrown at them. And Parminder Nagra deserves to go on to better things.

Thank you for clearing that up. It reflects badly on my knowledge of that culture that I was not even differentiating between the majority culture and the specific religion that Sikhism is. Can you tell me what your family, as Sikhs, think of the polytheistic Hindu culture, or whether you encounter any discrimination from it? I honestly do not know enough about it. Again, thank you.